You're dating after a divorce but you're not too sure how to sort the wheat out from the chaff. You're off to meet some chap you made contact with on one of the many online dating sites but what should you look out for?
Mamma mia!
It's not a good idea to go out with a man who still lives with his parents, unless of course, you are still at school which is unlikely if you are divorced. Be very cautious. Such a man is unlikely to want to leave the womb of the parental home or the bosom of a mother who probably dotes on him and does everything for him. He will expect you to carry on where she left off. If he doesn’t know that the fridge doesn’t automatically fill itself or the difference between the washing machine and the tumble drier then send him straight back to mummy.
Shortie
Although it can work for some women it is difficult going out with a man who is shorter than you by more than a couple of inches. Never mind the celebrity couples such as Rod Stewart and the luscious Penny Lancaster you may well find that you develop a permanent and deeply unattractive stoop as you try to slouch into a position where you can look into each others eyes without him having to climb onto a box. It also means that you will probably have to give up wearing heels. It’s not worth it.
Manners maketh man
Bad manners are never acceptable and a man who is rude to waiters or anyone else is likely to turn his irritability on you once the initial shine of the relationship has worn off and he no longer feels he has to be on his best behaviour.
HOW old did you say you were?
A boyfriend who is more than 20 years older than you is pushing it a bit. Although there are many instances of happy relationships between couples where the man is considerably older than the woman it also means that he is likely to die and leave you, as a perhaps still relatively young woman, on your own possibly for the rest of your life. There is also something rather distasteful about a man in his 50’s or 60’s hoping to look hip and happening because he has an attractive 20 or 30 something year old woman at his side.
You're so vain
Dating a chap who spends more time getting ready to go out than you do is also not advisable. If he prefers spending time applying man moisturiser and plucking his facial hair while you kick your heels waiting for him to finish his love affair with his own reflection then get rid of him. Although a well groomed man is a real turn on for many women you know it has gone too far when you are not allowed to ruffle his perfectly coiffed locks or his toiletries take up so much space on the bathroom shelf that there is no room for your own.
Scrooge
If a man doesn’t pay for the drinks, the meal or the cinema tickets on your first date then the alarm bells should start ringing. A man who is mean with money may well be less than forthcoming on the emotional front too. Coughing up half of the bill at his insistence will be nothing to do with him not wishing to infringe your independence but everything to do with being tight fisted. It could also mean that the well paid job he has spent half the night talking about is rather further from the truth than he would have you believe.
The married Lothario
If he is married or even if he says he is going to leave his wife, then go no further no matter how much you are attracted to him. It will end in tears for somebody, if not you then consider his wife and his family if he has one. It can also be very difficult to trust a man who is willing to have an affair even if it does end in him getting divorced to move in with, or marry, you, there is always the chance of a repeat performance at some point in the future. Financier James Goldsmith once said ‘When a man marries his mistress it creates a job opportunity’.
Mr Needy
If all your new date wants to do is talk about himself and his feelings and you start feeling more like a counsellor than a potential girlfriend then suggest he get professional help and take a taxi home. Self obsession and introspection is a deeply unattractive trait in men (or women) and could indicate a needy, clingy personality, besides you don’t want to know about all his angst on your first date or after the maelstrom of divorce, a little mystery is essential to a new relationship.