You're a divorced man and you want to meet a nice woman to share your life after divorce but you're not too sure what to look out for. Read our dating advice for divorced men.
The piranha
Avoid like a plague the woman who is clearly not interested in you as a charming, warm hearted individual but only in the size of your bank balance. She should not be too difficult to spot. If she only wants you to take her for expensive meals and never offers to split the bill then get rid of her as soon as possible. Whatever you do don’t fall into the trap of sleeping with her thereby opening up the possibility of her becoming pregnant when she really will have you by the short and curlies for a very long time.
Me me me
Any woman who pulls a face whenever you mention your children or tries to dissuade you from having them to stay at weekends when she thinks you should be lavishing attention on her just has to go. Your relationship with your children now you are divorced must come before all others no matter how desperate you are for someone with whom to share your life.
Always late
Lateness, while viewed as trivial by many who cannot see why someone should make a fuss because they are five, ten or thirty minutes late for a meeting or an appointment when there is no good reason for them to be so can lead to considerable disagreement and irritation between couples. If you are continually having to make excuses for your girlfriend to others because she could not get out of bed in time for a meal at your parents or drinks with your best friend and his wife then forget buying her a new watch or an alarm clock and give her her marching orders instead. Lateness implies a lack of respect for those left hanging around waiting.
How clean is her house?
You may not be looking for the perfect housewife but a woman whose house is more reminiscent of a landfill site and who is incapable of making a basic meal or of picking up her dirty pants and putting them in the laundry basket before you visit is unlikely to make a great life companion.
More of a bloke than a woman
Drinking to excess and generally loud behaviour does not bode well in a companion of either sex but is perhaps even less appealing in the female of the species. If a woman regularly drinks too much and indulges in embarrassing behaviour when you are out then she probably has an alcohol problem and is best quietly dumped. You are unlikely to be able to change her ways and if you have children it will not be good for them to witness such behaviour in a friend of their father’s.
Sex on the first date
A woman who is willing to leap into bed with you on a first date is unlikely to engender your respect and may well have problems with her self image although it may be tempting to take her up on her offer. Refuse politely but firmly and remove her from your Christmas card list. If she is so willing to sleep with you so soon then she will likely throw herself at any man who shows any interest in her whatsoever and you will never fully be able to trust her not to do so.
Married women
Although married women are less likely to have affairs than their male counterparts, the numbers who are prepared to be unfaithful to their spouses or long term partners are growing. Getting entangled with someone who is already in a relationship is never a good idea. If you are hoping for a light hearted fling with no strings attached then you are very likely going to be disappointed.
Whereas a married man will have an affair just because he can, a woman is more likely to enter into an extra marital affair because her relationship with her husband may be lacking in affection or attention. Such a woman may well not be too pleased when she discovers that you are not as committed to the relationship as she would like and this could have long term repercussions and difficulties. Think very carefully about entering into such a relationship however much you are tempted.